I really wonder how you feel on these nights alone

“memories from the past will never be forgotten”

Two oh one one.

December 30, 2010 || Thursday, December 30, 2010

Farewell 2010, say hello to 2011. :)

Count down tmr, think going to town with boyfriend and others.

So glad we're not going to scape. LOL. Coz its like no age limit.

Thn all the chiobu will go. Later boyfriend keep stare stare stare. -.-

Dont like. Tsk. Make me feel like i'm gna lose him again.

Watched gulliver's travels @ tiong with boyfriend and co.

Bought tix around 8 plus, slacked at arcade till 9 plus.

Thn went in to watch ~ Ended at 11 thn bussed home.

I miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!! :'(

Pain..

December 28, 2010 || Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Erm, i'm not in the blogging mood anymore. :/

And i dont feel like going back to school until i lose weight!

I'm still as fat as ever and i think i gained MORE weight.

This is shitty. And i hate being fat. :(

Its even tough to sit down without making the floor shake HAHAHA.

And stand up and not fall back down again. HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

I'm a total fat ass. :( Big butt = toned butt? Wtf? LOL.

More like big butt = fat butt. Which explains why my blackshot name is iGotBigButt.

HEHEHEHE. :) Kinda stupid and lame but w/e. :/

Errrrr hmmmm. Counselor called me today to talk about waking up for sch.

Checking in on my relationship with Him and losing weight process.

Told her i ordered pills to help lose weight. She actually went to check on it. Lol.

She also received this slimming cream from someone and says she doesnt need it.

And coz she says i need it more than her. Kinda sounds like an insult but nvm.

LOL. Hmm we made like a deal, i had to go sch everyday until june. Omg.

I dunno can wake up or not. -.- Going to school still being fat doesnt make it fun. :/

So anti social me. Dont feel like talking to anyone coz like they will stare at my fat face. :/

And there's like something wrong with my skin!!!!!!!

Its like drying up and it looks super gross. :( And i'm having a pimple break out.

This sucks. I'm down with a sore throat after a nap. -.-

So irritating, i'm now coughing my way to death. My god. This is torture. :/

School is a torture. LOL. Bought my books like finally. Now wna get my uniform.

I planning to buy like bigger size coz i bet i cant fit into my own ones. :p :/

I'M SO FAT CAN. :'( SO SAD LAH ME. WALAUUUUUUU.

My dearest boyfriend sick :( So poor thing can. :(

And yes we patched hehe. Its like no difference whether we break or not.

Coz we're still meeting and texting. Kissing and hugging. HAHA.

Loving each other but just known as FRIENDS.

And yes i bet there ARE people who want us to break up and nvr patch like forever.

Well, TOO BAD ^^ Loserz. No way you can break us up. :)

1 year 7 month anniversary coming alrdy hehe excited.

And he's gna ORD like next year feb. And i'm scared. :(

Pending case is still pending and i'm scared they purposely wait until he ORD.

Then they continue the damn case. :( Hmph. Hate this.

I'd do anything to drop the case but they would still wna charge him right? :/

:'( Feel so guilty. Sigh. If something bad happens to him i'mma wait for him. :)

I willllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. I promised him alrdyyyyyyyyyyyy.

But still hope nothing happens and the case will be closed ASAP!!!!

I love my boyfriend so much i cry when i think of missing his touch. :(
His soft kisses and warm hugs from behind. :'(

I love you ♥

Love like woe

December 23, 2010 || Thursday, December 23, 2010

Pray that everything will be okay next year.

2011 Be good to me okay!!!!! :)

Rot at home today, meeting dearest later. :)

3rd January 2011, i'll be waiting! ^^

Stuff to do:

Save up money go london in case pills doesnt work. HAAHAH.
Try and make my brains to study for this year!
Stop my snacking habits at late night.
Change of my nasty attitude towards some ppl lol.
Make more friends omg, :S Hard eh coz anti social&nobody likes FATGIRLS!
Ohoh, if the pills work, save money for clothes! ^^

K thats all for now. Lol. Nth much.

Very bored now, later heading to town with dearest, kj and co.

Exciting max. ^^ !! Eugenia dw come out coz her hair ugly. LOL.

BEST reason ever. But she also going out with her parents, tsk.

I wna go shopping so badly. :(

Click my nuffnang. :( Make me happy.

k thx byeeeeeeeeeeeeee,

Stuttering.

December 21, 2010 || Tuesday, December 21, 2010

School is reopening like in one week and few days more?!?!?!

Damn fast. :( Havent buy books yet lol. Idw go sch laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Dunno now can fit into uniform or not also HAHAHHAHAHA.

Wo hen fei ~~~~~~

Boring uh. Nothing do. :/ Meeting my beloved later, ^^

Ytd when down to bm with my dad to open my own bank acc.

Receiving my card like in 3 more days, ^^

Pills and stuff will arrive like in 1 week? O_O

Lens arriving next year. Lol. Free samples from http://www.thesamplestore.sg/ 3 more days.

^^ Excited to the max. Hehe. Lol. The thought of SCHOOL reopening kills my mood. -.-

BORING. Gna play blackshot now kk byebye ^^ .

I need you, still.

December 20, 2010 || Monday, December 20, 2010

Yes if you're smart, i'm trying to make this post a long one.

I'm still embarrassed about posting the previous post.

Feel like taking it down, but its okay.

Very bored.

Sch reopening.

Havent buy books.

I need to slim down.

I need to study.

Why. Why. Why.

I wanna know why! :(

Sian.

Very sian.

Nothing do.

Christmas coming.

New year also.

Gna rot at home LOL.

Nothing do.

My life boring to the max.

I now dying alone at home.

I miss you. Rly rly miss you.

:( Your phone no batt, no charger.

Cant call and talk to you le.

But meeting you early morning tmr.

♥ I cant wait ♥

Get well soon okay! ♥

I love you.

I’m not asking for 2011 to be awesome,

I’m just asking it to be better than 2010.

I hate myself. :(

December 19, 2010 || Sunday, December 19, 2010

OK, LOOK AT THE PICS. LOOK AT MY FAT FACE. :)

Scroll down to compare me now and last time. -_-

LOL I feel so embarrassed uploading all my unglams here.

***** IGNORE MY CLEAVAGES. CALL ME SLUT LOR.

MAIN POINT SHOW YOU HOW FAT I AM OKKKKKKKKKKK. :)

I look like CRAPPY/SHITTY now. Dont judge hor i tell you!!!!!!!!! LOL

F M L OKKKKKKKKKKKK.

I feel SUPER miserable after i grew so fat.

I used to be like cheerful all the time.

Now i anti social alrdy lah hor ok. Coz i know ppl will keep ask why i so fat le.

And they'll be asking my friends why i grew so fat. and etc etc. :/

For stalkers and close friends know why i grew so fat!

Anything go my formspring see for yourself.

I screwed up my own life ok! I KNOW. DONT NEED REMIND ME.

I didnt attend school very often in 2010. Coz of my problem!

Thank god i still got promoted to sec 3!!!!!!. :)

But i kinda regret what i did. I could've stop going sch. -_-

LOL but i' would've grown FATTER THAN NOW.!

:/ also can so not a bad thing to do lah. lol.

I feel so upset now so i wna rant everything here :(

I dont like being fat. My Boy is loving me lesser coz i'm friggin fat now. :(

I'm ugly. I look like shit I know :(

I weigh more than average weight. Not obese or whatever you call it.

The O word after over weight one. :/ Lucky.

But i still have to lose like 20 kg to go back average weight....

I alrdy give your clue. 20 KG. GO CALCULATE. SEE HOW HEAVY I AM! :(

I cannot stand insults and bad mouthing behind my back.

I somehow know who's talking about me and who's not.

:/ idk if i am wrong or not but i think im correct. :(

This is a friggin long post i know. i'm sry if i'm wasting your time reading :(.

Ask me anything on formspring, i love you people okay!

Dont stop loving me just coz im fat now.........................

I alrdy lost Him. I dont wna lose anyone else please k.

Even though not close to your la but thn at least got friend to talk to right?..

I dont trust some ppl but doesnt mean we cant talk about non-private stuff mah right.

:/ I think when sch reopen's meiling and ngjing wont be with me and ping anymore.

So like kinda sad. lol. aiya hate sch lah. wna go ITE so badly but i cant even pass my subs.

How the heck am i gna promote to sec 4. :( Study isnt working for me.

I'm too lazy. So many things happening to me at once. I cant tahan y'know.

:( WHO'S WILLING TO BE THERE WHEN I NEED SOMEONE TO CRY ON/WITH!?

no one la. LOL. :( ! i know some pic below got repeat one. dontcare luh.

kk have fun reading. LOL

TOP IS FAT

BOTTOM IS WHEN I WAS SKINNY. ><

MY LEG :( I WANT IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

See THOSE pictures?!?!!?

LOL I was viewing my past pic. :/

I shock dao LEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Cant believe i was THAT skinny. Omg.

Now i become fat pig / extra large ball. LOL.

Ok and i think i look very ugly in that pic but i was skinny right!!!!!!

Fml!!!! :( I hate myself, so i dont expect you to like me ya? :)

NO BODY LIKES FAT GIRLS :'(

im so sad.

I had no idea you were gna mean so much to me when i first saw you. Seriously.

I remember the very first time i went to your house, our first sentosa outing!! ^^

You were walking around in your blue boxers heheehhehehehehe.

So cute can!?!!!?!? ^^ You wore purple shirt and fbt 3quater shorts.

Carried your big black bag. Reached sentosa thn you and the rest went to play.

Took this picture on that day :)

I think thats a rainbow. LOL.

Dont wna type so much alrdy, :/

Just miss the past seriously. :( :( :( :(

ok byebye ♥♥

i love ngcheeweng ^_^

We broke up alrdy but we're still in love with each other. :/

I dont know why i cant be known as his girlfriend.

Which sucks k. Sucks ttm. Fml. :'(

i love you.

Its alright, its ok.

December 17, 2010 || Friday, December 17, 2010

This is exactly how i feel lol.

Still loving him alot though.

Tired.

Of everything.

Drama mama, lol.

December 15, 2010 || Wednesday, December 15, 2010

" I wonder how it feels to be irresistibly attractive. "

I'm so friggin bored ok, i sent my cpu to shop to reset my password HAHA.

I keep change my password until forget. ><>

Cant change the password alrdy. Must cre8 new profile. ~

Lazy. :/ HMMMMM this month alot interesting thing happen to me :)

How gr8. Nottttttttttttttt. I hate life. :( No money = no life.

Sian ttm luh no money walau. Spend all my money on pills alrdy.

Waiting for cappings to close on 22 thn wait 3-5 days thn get alrdy.

Yay. And i have to get my lenses soon! :/

Hopefully the pills work coz i seriously needa lose weight.

Ew. LOL Hate my fats. :(

Bored ttm. Lazy update alrdy. Also nothing update about.

K bye

I love ng chee weng. !!! ^^

Define love.

December 6, 2010 || Monday, December 06, 2010

"What happen to all the promises you made to me?"

I just cant help thinking about the past, wanting to go back.

He said somethings just cant be the way we want it.

It sucks but its so true. :/

We all have to learn to let go and accept the fact that people do change. (ALOT!!!)

But me, i rlyrlyrly cant accept the fact. And i dont have the guts to face reality.
Sucks right, i know. :( I dont want to be left alone again.

Sigh, december is being a bitch to me and i'm not happy!

Whenever i'm happy, bad things will ALWAYS happen! Why?!?!?!?! -_-

Seriously very irritating. I might as well not be happy and cry all day and night!

GOD!!!!!! Sick and tired of everything! All your bullshits and whatsoever!

And BITCH, i hate you. ~ :)

Can anyone talk to me now?!!?! Fb or msn or text me!!!!!!!!

Bored to the max. Boring. :/ Nothing much to update.

Went swimming, thn went over to market find boyf etc.

Cabbed to NUH with pohmeng kj and boyfriend.

7.30 until 10 or 11 plus thn cab back to cres. -.-

Damn long lor! Huiping came and find me hehehehehe so nice.

HMMMMM, cres eat, thn bussed home. :/

♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥

I miss my boyfriend :(

Miss hugging him. :(

Feel like crying. :'(

"Ni shi wo jui shen ai de ren" ♥

December 4, 2010 || Saturday, December 04, 2010

Screw you bitch! _l_

I care too much and wasted hell loads of time

on those who dont give a fuck about me.

I'm not your toy, never was, never will be.

Dont play me, coz i dont think its fun, k?

Get the hell outta my life.

' Bitch number TWO.

I hate you very very very very very very very very very much.

I loathe you, you disgust me. I dont like you. I dont need you.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _l_ :)

I love my boyfriend very much♥

Happy 1 year 6 month ;)

Why you do me like that.

December 2, 2010 || Thursday, December 02, 2010

Things that hurt.

Being unsure of how someone feels about you.
Feeling like they are mad at you.
Being misunderstood by people you care about.
Being judged by people you care about.
Feeling like you lost something that was never yours.
Feeling like you’re doing too much.
Thinking you aren’t doing enough.
Not knowing if you should say something.
Worried about what they’ll think if you do say it.
Feeling like you care more than they do.

Why is love so complicated and painful?

Why cant it be as easy as 123 or ABC?

:( I'm tired of crying le lah!!!!

Screw my life. ~

I want my old life back!! :(

Whr sch was fun, money wasnt a problem.

Friends were thr, boyfriend was so loving. :(

Havent talk to boyfriend in a longlong time LOL.

Bored ttm. Going queenstown tmr to collect my stuff i bought online (y)!!

Still waiting for my lenses to arrive singapore like wtffffffffff.

I bought at like october. Last update was 20 november!

Half the batch of lenses have arrived, mine isnt in the half :(

Sian. Going blind with my current lenses. Cant see anything!

Blurblur only, tsk. Irritating.

K I'M BORED GNA BLACKSHOT NOW BYE!!!!!!!!!!!

You make my heart melt like butter.

December 1, 2010 || Wednesday, December 01, 2010

HEHE cut my hair just now, AGAIN. and i'm happy with it. ^^

Boyfriend and kangjun came over to my house at around 3 plus.

:O Slacked, etc etc. Go down buy food, eat alrdy slack awhile more.

Thn off to purmei to meet pohmeng, sc, st, kl, ray, ahjin, tianyong and another guy.

Slacked awhile there thn go 110 sit~ Was like rotting there. -.-

The guys talk about NS stuff. Lol. Not my type sry.

11 like that cabbed home ~ Sent tianyong home also. ~

I like the way he say byebye. Lol. "Bai-eeeeeeeeeeeee x2"

Damn bored eh. :/ Just ate maggie and i cant go to sleep yet. :/

Sian. -_- Blackshot, fb, formspring. Hehe talked to noelle.

She damn cute. ^^ She doesnt want me to take the pills :(

I'm still gna!! :) The pills like friggin ex ok. Directly from japan de ley.

Lol. Cant wait to get it ~ Hope wont get liver cancer HAHAH.

Watching disney now -_- Eye closing alrdy.

1 year 6 month anniversary coming soon! HEHEHEHEH.

But i not meeting boyfriend :( SAD. Thursday to saturday cant meet :(

Fml lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Miss him. :(

No money buy present hehe.

Is it weird for me and my boyfriend to not give each other present? O_O